If you ever get to a place where you don’t like your life (something few of us would admit out loud), you don’t need help. You need to be of help.
This is something I gathered from the wisdom of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist who survived the Nazi death camps—in large part due to his mindset and the practice of his philosophy. Essentially, he came to the conclusion that life is all about meaningful perspective wrapped in service. He said,
“Don’t aim at success-the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself, or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.”
In other words, success and happiness shouldn’t be chased; they should chase you. So, how do we construct a life in which happiness comes looking for us? First, we have to understand the typical approach. Most people are searching for happiness. They’re searching for a sense of success and fulfillment. And they’re doing it in sex, and other people, and job titles, and money, and positions, and material goods, and social media.
That’s not working out. Historically speaking, it’s not helping us.
Frankl said that success and happiness shouldn’t be pursued. They must ensue. They should pursue you. How will that happen? Find a cause, find a purpose greater than yourself. You don’t need help. You need to be of help. That is the best way to find a cause greater than you. How can I help?
When was the last time you went out of your way to help someone else? When is the last time you stepped out of the regular scheduled programming that is your life and helped someone, not for what you get from it, not because they’ll reciprocate and do something for you, but just because you want to be of service?
When’s the last time you took something on at work that you didn’t have to? Not to make the boss happy. Not because it’s almost review time and you want to look really good for that next raise. You helped someone who couldn’t help you back.
When you think about some of the times you’ve felt happiest, I bet you’ll think of gift-giving, seeing someone else light up because of what you did from a place of generosity.
If you don’t like your life, don’t chase success. Don’t look for fulfillment. Look for where you can be of service and watch how quickly the needle starts to move in the right direction.
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