“Can I get you guys a water?” the car salesman asked as we sat at his tiny desk in the massive showroom.
I declined, as did my daughter, Isabel. Her sister Eliana replied, “Yes please!”
When the gentleman returned with the bottle of water, Eliana was surprised to learn it was free. Isabel, however, spotted the transaction. “He’s giving us that because he hopes we’ll buy a car from him.” Eliana thought this over and whispered,
“He better bring some candy or a Coke then!”
And in that moment, my daughters learned about the Law of Reciprocity, a persuasion technique that says, essentially, “I’ll do something nice for you, and then you’ll return the favor.”
It’s used all the time in sales. And while it’s not inherently wrong or unethical, it tugs at a powerful tendency in human nature—we feel obligated, even subconsciously, to match or exceed the actions of others.
Countless people have leveraged this law to build wealth, influence, and connection. It’s powerful.
But here’s something even greater: Giving with no expectation of return. Doing for others what they could never do for you. Or, to take it a step further, giving anonymously. This kind of generosity doesn’t make a person better than anyone else, but it unlocks a different mental dimension. As Rumi said,
“Whenever we manage to love without expectation, calculations, negotiations, we are indeed in heaven.”
"May everything you do be out of Love, not for Love." ~ Morgan Richard Olivier