Time Doesn’t (Always) Heal

🤔 Challenging conventional wisdom

Conventional wisdom is an excellent map of a world that doesn’t really exist. Here’s an example:

“Time heals all wounds.”

It’s so comforting for someone in the throes of loss or grief to know that, although the cut is deep, eventually, given time and space, they’ll find healing.

This is beautiful. And not necessarily true.

Sometimes, wounds require treatment. It’s not enough to air them out or let nature take its course. We need help.

We all know (or have been) people who leave frustrations and emotional traumas unaddressed in hopes that they’ll work themselves out. We cover the wounds with excuses or busyness or an extra drink (or two) and carry on, waiting impatiently for time to do its thing.

This strategy works for scratches and minor inconveniences. But for deep wounds, for fractures, time can actually make things worse.

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Last year, my son Lincoln hurt his thumb playing football. For a couple of days, we thought it was a sprain. He kept playing… until it blew up like a purple balloon. A couple scans later, we learned he had fractured his thumb at the growth plate.

If we didn’t pull him off the field, cast his hand, and keep him from activity, at best, he would need surgery, and at worst, his thumb would never develop properly.

Imagine if we had trusted time to heal. He would have been fine, but his growth would have been permanently stunted in that area.

None of us will make it through this life without scars. And yes, some things just have to play out. But don’t be afraid to ask for help. Get another opinion. Be an advocate for your own healing. And never put your trust in conventional wisdom.

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