Letting Go of Stories That Don’t Add Up
🤔 How challenging old beliefs can redefine your potential
I’ve always been bad at math.
Over the years, I’ve joked with countless people that my high school diploma must have been a “mercy pass” to keep the assembly line moving. History? No problem. English? Absolutely. Math? Hand me a calculator, the answer key, and clear the room, please.
This belief became an identity.
For decades, it shaped how I saw myself and my abilities, even bleeding into my parenting. I dreaded the day my kids would ask for help with their math homework, convinced I’d let them down. What if they couldn’t count on me? (Ha! Sorry.)
And then the day came.
Desperate for a lifeline, I turned to Khan Academy, a brilliant (and free) resource designed to make learning accessible. Those simple, approachable videos did more than just teach me fractions and equations—they chipped away at a lifelong story I’d been telling myself.
I was never bad at math.
I’d been taught in a way that left me confused and frustrated, which planted the seed of doubt. That doubt grew into a belief. The belief became a narrative of incompetence. And that narrative shaped my identity. I closed myself off to the possibility of improvement and wrote myself off unnecessarily.
Now, let’s be clear. I’m not heading to NASA anytime soon. Aerospace engineering is still not in the cards for me. But I’ve abandoned the old story.
In his book Exceptional, Professor Daniel Cable writes,
“Even when they are not true, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are have a way of becoming true.”
It might not be math for you, but I know there’s a story you’ve been carrying unquestioned, a belief about who you are or what you’re capable of. Maybe it started with a critical comment from a parent or teacher. Maybe it came from an embarrassing moment, one that stuck with you long after everyone else forgot.
These stories feel real because we’ve lived them. They shape our choices and our limitations. But as real as they seem, they’re not the truth.
The Shift
You’re not cursed to live out the stories you’ve written for yourself, as long as you’re willing to leave them behind. You can rewrite stories of growth and empowerment.
And even if these new stories don’t feel true in the moment, stay with them. Tell them enough, and they’ll become reality.
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