We’re super late to the party, but my wife Tanya and I just started watching the series Ted Lasso on Apple TV+, and we’re hooked. We’re binging it like a couple of fiends.
If you haven’t seen the show, it’s a sports “comedy-drama” about an American Football coach who’s hired to take over an English soccer team, despite (or due to) the fact that he has zero experience with the game. The tone is optimistic with an edge. It’s uplifting without being preachy. And the title character Ted Lasso, played by Jason Sudeikis, is what I imagine Mr. Rogers might be like if he watched a little more TV and hung out at the local pub. (Oh, and grew a mustache.)
I could go on, but this isn’t a TV show review, and I’d like to get to the point. Below is one of my favorite scenes so far. In it, Ted Lasso is pitted against his new boss’s egomaniacal ex-husband in a game of darts that everyone expects him to lose. Here’s where things get interesting:
“You know, they thought they had everything figured out. So, they judged everything and they judged everyone. And I realized that in their underestimating me – who I was had nothing to do with it.”
Most of us have been on the giving and receiving end of this judgmental lack of curiosity. It takes such an unnecessary toll on everyone involved. What we see in this clip—and, if we’re honest, in our own experience—is that judgment robs us of opportunity. It prevents us from connecting with others in surprising and meaningful ways. Judgment stunts our growth, limits our learning capacity, and sets us up to be blind-sided.
There’s no upside.
So, going forward, whenever you find yourself judging or being judged, I hope you think back to this simple game of darts, and the quote painted on the wall:
“Be curious, not judgmental.”
I’d love to know how you see it. Join me in the comments!